The Hunt

It's been a ridiculously busy last two months for me career-wise. Things have taken a 180 degree turn at work and let's just say I don't see myself growing where I am right now. I still have my job, don't get me wrong. But it has reduced itself to what it shouldn't be - a "job." I am ready to move on.

So, the last few months, I've been aggressively looking for a new opportunity. I am actually surprised how much the job market has picked up. I am not joking when I say I have at least 1 interview scheduled everyday since September. It's definitely a lot of work and I keep running out of "game face" clothing. Here's the crazy process:

• Network like crazy - attend events, panels, etc.
• You reach out to the company/or a recruiter calls you
• Phone call with HR/ phone call with recruiter
• In-person meeting with recruiter
• In-person meeting with HR
• (If lucky) First round of interviews -2 to 3 people
• Wait for a few weeks for them to get back
• (If lucky again) Second round of interviews - 2 people
• Wait for a few weeks
• Third/fourth round of interviews (perhaps with the MD)
• "We'll be in touch" conversation
• Hear back or never hear back

This process takes at least 2 months. It's like a full-time job and it's so exhausting.

The frustrating part is when you get to the 4th round, and then they tell you "they've changed direction." I've reached out to at least 16 different companies, and 14 of them I've had interviews with, 3 of them promising. An 87% response rate, and 18% conversion rate is not bad in the grand scheme of things. But man, it's definitely not a walk in the park.


I've also thought about setting up my own little business from our little apartment, but there are other things I'd like to learn first before that happens.

Hubby and I have been reassessing our situation and think that if we are both unhappy with our jobs, why don't we just go for what we really love? We have money in the bank and we have no kids. What if we put all of our junk in storage and travel the world... for a year! Yeah, my parents will be disappointed if we postpone having kids for another year, but hey, no regrets right?

That is plan B. If the job market does not love us back, then we will follow what we love the most instead.

In the meantime, wish me luck with the job hunt!

You are Big,You are Small

If only all of us can fly to the moon and look down on earth and see how small it looks from that perspective. Then, we can all stop thinking we all have big problems.

After being in New York for almost 6 years now,  I've come to realize even more how important it is to put things in perspective on a daily  basis. It is a gift to have food on the table and a roof over your head. It is even more delightful to be able to live in this city!

Last night, I attended a surprise birthday party for one of our dear friends in a quaint little restaurant in the West Village. She turned 43. While a lot of people don't disclose their true age (or proclaim they are "forever 21"), she declared her new age with no shame. I admired her for that. She said she likes to celebrate another year of life, and since there's much to be thankful for, she wants to celebrate for a full month!

There was no talk of work at all during that night. People just talked about travels, friends, stuff they like and passions. It was so refreshing.

The surprise party lasted for 4 hours with a small group of people in a small restaurant's backyard. When you look at the earth from the moon, you won't even see a speck of evidence that this tiny gathering was happening. However, when it ended, I left feeling bigger and better being surrounded by people who celebrate the million reasons to feel alive. None of these reasons had anything to do with money and work.

Buzz Kill

So a few weeks ago, I came across a buzzkill. No further details required, but this made me realize that life is too short to spend it with experiences or people that do not matter at all. After brainstorming with my dear husband, we've decided that this is the best time in our lives to make a big change, take a huge leap, bring on a new challenge - or whatever else you want to call it. This "change" involves some kind of move - a move to a new job, a new city, or even a new country. It may also involve some kind of traveling, a passion that we both share.

Will keep you posted as it unveils...

4th of July

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Living for the Weekends #2

Let's see...  summer has finally come into full swing in NYC. What kind of debauchery is in store for us during the weekends? Or weekdays?

We go wholesome, not wholesome then back to wholesome again.

Watched a cultural presentation at the Philippine Consulate

Took a party bus the next day on the way to a wedding. Note: it was only 2pm and there was liquor and a pole dance on board.

Then the next day, it's back to wholesome goodness to watch a family-friendly baseball game

Galapagos

Ah yes, Galapagos. It's been such a whirlwind since we got back, hence this delayed post. Sorry about that. Here are my favorite highlights:

• We traveled to mainland Ecuador (that's another story) and onto the Galapagos Islands. We landed in Baltra, took a ferry to Santa Cruz and cruised to Espanola, Floreana and North Seymour. 
• D and I are finally certified open water divers! Our dive instructor, Vicente, was amazing. He definitely pushed us to the limit. One of our first few dives were at the maximum we can ever do - 60 feet! The best part was the last (of the 4) dives - we went under thousands of fish hovering around, while sea lions played with us. It was unreal.
• We finally met Lonesome George - although he was very shy.
• We took tons of photos of sea lions, blue-footed boobies, frigate birds, crabs, sea turtles, giant tortoises and all other creatures that can only be found in the Galapagos. They are not scared of humans, which was refreshing.
• Since we were right on the ecuator, at night, when we looked at the stars, we saw the North Star and the Southern Cross.

More about the rest of the trip later on...

 

Island of Daphe Minor

 

Baby Sea Lion

  Diving

My last 20s hurrah

Today marks my last hurrah at falling in the bucket of "20somethings." It has been a fun ride. While I feel a little older and wiser, let me sit back and ponder upon what I've accomplished in my 20s in no particular order.

• Received 2 Masters degrees (UA&P and NYU)
• Met my soulmate and married him
• Traveled alone in Spain
• Traveled to over 30 countries
• Moved to New York City
• Lived on my own, cooked my own food and did my own laundry
• Received my diving certificate
• Started a small business, failed but haven't given up yet
• Visited the Galapagos Islands before they sink
• Became someone's "boss"
• (Still) haven't tried drugs

On my last year in my 20s, I wonder what is in store for me?

Trip of the Year

I am filled with excitement right now. One more day and my husband and I will be off to Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands. Yes, THE Galapagos Islands. Perhaps our scuba diving lessons will pay off finally. Ten full days of adventure, away from the craziness that is New York. I need to reset. And I cannot wait to meet Lonesome George.

Patience

I've been trying to recapture the full meaning of the word Patience lately. It is indeed a virtue, however, I need to know up to what point should people "tolerate delay."

My everyday is what I expected working in New York to be: fast-paced, competitive and sometimes unforgiving. Despite this, I still feel like my career is slow-moving. My boss keeps telling me, "Be patient." - but for how long?

On another note, I was catching up with a single friend (in her early 30's) recently. She is in a serious relationship, however, her man may not be as ready to settle down as much as her. She asked me, how long should I wait? Tick tock.

I do believe that people who uphold patience are setting themselves up for greater rewards. But it's definitely not easy.

If I ever participated in The Marshmallow Test as a kid, I wonder how I would have done?

"Old job" anxiety

The longest I have ever been in a company is 2.5 years. I have reached the 2 year mark a month ago at my current job, and I can't help but feel a little... antsy. It's just me being human thinking the grass is always greener. I mean, who can beat the following perks?

• Summer Fridays beginning early May through end of September
• Free haircut and color every few months
• Free beauty products
• "Work at home" one day a month
• Breakfast every few weeks
• Team lunches every month
• 10 minute commute - walking
• Flex schedules and...
• 6 months of maternity leave! (No wonder everybody at work is pregnant)

Maybe I'll stay a little bit longer?

Thumper Rabbit Says...

I have a friend who is really annoying. I can't explain how or why. But in Manila-terms, this friend is just so "feeling." Feeling important. Feeling sossy. Feeling somebody. Perhaps this person is insecure? This person is still a friend, nonetheless. I think he/she just needs to get laid. Stat.

Ok, enough. I won't write anything further. Thumper Rabbit says... if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.

Living for the Weekends

As the weather gets better and spring is around the corner, weekends in New York have become more and more interesting. It is time to wake up from winter hibernation and socialize.

D and I have had a few interesting weekends already, like for example...

We attended a very "adult" dinner party on a Friday night. Picture this scene: 6 people, age range late 20's to 60's, 3 courses and lots of wine. The conversations spanned from art, to social media to travels. It was very mature, that I didn't even get a chance to take photos at that time.

The next day, we attended another (less mature) friend's birthday party at a Lower East Side joint. She is a comic, so her circle of friends are all stand up comedians. As expected, there was copious amounts of food and alcohol, and cheesy bar mitzvah-type of entertainment. The vodka started flowing at 6:30pm, so by 10:30pm, everyone was wasted. Needless to say, we had no idea how we got home in one piece. It was one helluva party.

The following day, Sunday, was spent recuperating from the craziness of the previous night. Think wholesome brunch like eggs and such. And lots of coffee.

After that, it was another five days of intense working, Powerpointing, presenting and back-to-back meetings. Another countdown to the next weekend. At least it never gets boring.

Anonymous Quote

You never leave someone behind, you take a part of them with you and leave a part of yourself behind. - Anonymous

Weddings and Babies

I feel sad missing most of my friends' weddings and baby showers and such (from Manila and other parts of the world). I wish I can be there and be part of the most important days of your lives. I am giving you a (virtual) hug. So happy you met The One (remember all the drama back in the day, and how they all sound funny now?). To some of you, I'm so thrilled you are gifted with babies! (Who won the bet now?)
 
Mares and Pares, you know who you are.

"Strategy"

One thing I noticed at work lately is that the word "strategy" is a little bit overused. What is the strategy for that? Can we talk about the XYZ strategy?  How do you envision the strategy of ABC? Either the word is used very loosely, or I've been more involved in big picture things. Hoping it's the latter.

Lenten Sacrifice

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the 40-day lenten season for us Catholics. We typically need to give up something that we love doing as a sacrifice during this season. Last year, I gave up red meat - I know, you vegetarians and pescatorians out there may just roll your eyes. This year, I thought really hard... I wanted this sacrifice to not just be doable, but also tough enough to be called a "sacrifice."

So this year, for 40 days and 40 nights, no beer and chocolate for me.

So what are you going to give up for lent?

Valentines Day Material Things

Valentine's Day is just around the corner. How have you showed your love/friendship to others? How have people shown love to you? I think I got a little spoiled this year...materially.

 

Flowers at work! :)

 

Surprise dinner at Le Cirque

 

 A weekend in Quebec City

Don't get me wrong. I prefer more meaningful experiences, but hey, I won't say no to any of these. Are you doing anything romantic this weekend? Pray tell. Happy Valentines Day!

Managing 101

In my role at work, I am given the opportunity to "manage" people. I manage our relationship with ad agencies, I manage an internal team, I manage up and I have someone directly reporting under me. Everyday brings different challenges so I try to balance the way I handle different people.

But, today was a little different. For the first time in my career, my direct report cried to me. It was during our status meeting. To clarify, I didn't make her cry. After going through the list of items in our agenda, she asked me if we can discuss her work situation (she reports to me and another person). She started becoming teary-eyed out of frustration because her other boss makes her send out UPS boxes. She's obviously very smart and driven. She didn't say it out loud, but I think she hated the fact that she has to do something as mundane and uneventful as packing and shipping.

I would hate it too. I didn't want to bring out the "when I was your age" card, but I've been through that crap in the past as well. I counted stupid sweepstakes entrees to the thousands, I had to Fedex/UPS hundreds of documents to clients, packed goody bags and do other things that do not require a brain. I thought at that time, how dare them undermine my knowledge and education by making me do these stupid things?

Obviously, there is something to learn about these experiences. It taught me humility and patience.

When you're young, you look at the world in rose-tinted glasses. When you're young and in-love with and in New York, you look at life with rose-tinted glasses while laying in a bed of roses. (Not exactly "cool" and "New York" when you're doing mailroom stuff.)

I listened intently and let her finish as her frustration turned into tears. I told her we all go through what she's going through, including me. We need to work through some stupid stuff to get to the meatier stuff. I told her she can look at this from a different angle. What can you learn and take out of this experience? Then, I gave her some water to calm herself down, paused... and then, I asked her how her boyfriend is doing - and she started smiling.

Our meeting ended on a good light. She's 21 and life outside of the four walls of school is just starting to hit.  But, I do hope that I taught her a little something today, while bringing her back to wear her rose-tinted glasses. I hope I become the kind of boss I myself would like to work with. Life goes on.

Social Media Week

I just wanted to share that this week is pretty exciting for people who have the same job as me. Why? Because it's Social Media Week!

But, on another note, I am unable to partake in all of the fun because of the other work that I have to do back in my cube. Totally not complaining. It's good to be busy, especially nowadays. There's food to eat and bills to pay. Has unemployment in NYC really hit 10.4%?

That's a Non sequitur, right there.

Familiarity Breeds Contempt

I totally believe that statement. I see it in all levels of relationships. Does that mean we should escape familiarity to avoid drama?

5th Anniversary

Today marks my 5th year living in New York City.

It's been five years since I stepped foot on a blizzarding night in Newark Liberty Airport. I only had two big luggages with me. Now, I probably have a truckload of stuff. Has it really been that long since I came here? I was ignorant (but at that time, I didn't think so), carrying my Filipino-Catholic values from home. I didn't even understand what it entailed to live in this so-called concrete jungle. Now I embrace and experience it all the time. Cold weathers? Peace of cake. Crazy co-workers? Bring it on. $26 Black Label burgers? Let me try that!

New York, how did I last five years with you? You are the most arrogant, selfish and unpredictable place I've ever known. But, I will still love you anyway. Happy 5th Anniversary.

2009 Loves and Hates

I'd like to keep this short this time. Instead of wallowing over the year that has past, it's time to look forward to a new decade. Happy New Year everyone!

Loves
1. My hubby
2. My family
3. Traveling to... uhm, 10 countries?
4. Still having a job to pay for all those travels
5. Home-cooked meals
6. The occasional fancy dinner out
7. Our NYC apartment
8. Friends who "get" you
9. Shoes/Bags/Accessories
10. Getting my nails done (it's a luxury to me)
11. Mad Men
12. Facebook, Twitter and 4sq

Hates
1. Sloppy work
2. Clutter
3. Stupid TSA rules
4. Annual performance reviews
5. Crosstown buses (when they never come)
6. Winter slushy grossness
7. Fair-weathered friends
8. Insecurity
9. Negative vibes
10. Expensive anything ($400 for a white t-shirt? C'mon!)
11. Single ladies who think they are better than the happily married bunch
12. Stricter visa application requirements because I have a Philippine passport

Click.Travel. Go.

Thanks to the first winter storm of the season, our flight to Miami got canceled. That means, we're totally going to miss our week-long Central America cruise. Boo hoo, right?

Wrong! After doing some last-minute research, we were able to book a flight to Cancun the same day and follow the cruise on Day 4. It's not too convenient, and it will cost us some money but you can't put a price on spending the holidays with your family.

So click, click, click. Done. Don't you just love online travel booking? See you in Cancun! Adios.

Helpless, Helpful

When Typhoon Ketsana ("Ondoy") hit Manila last September 26th, for 2 seconds, I felt so helpless in my tiny New York apartment. All my discontent (large and small) about living in this city quickly melted away. Here I am, safe and warm with a roof on top of my head, and food in the fridge. Hell, I even have a working cellphone to call delivery.

Meanwhile, my fellowmen are barely making it through the catastrophe that is Ondoy. Some areas in Manila were over 10 feet buried in water. Thousands of houses were destroyed. There was no electricity, no clean water, no dry roads and there were about 300 casualties. It was so disheartening seeing the places I've been, and the city where I grew up, immediately drowning underwater. There were thousands of Filipinos trying to reach the nearest relief center - if there even is one nearby. The government? Forget it. It was the private sector who did most of the work. True colors.

I wanted to be there and help. I wanted to pack up groceries or donate or swim through the baha to save people from drowning. But I couldn't. (Luckily, everybody in my family was safe, and our house was not damaged at all - we lived on a hill!)

Thankfully, I wasn't alone in feeling this way. A glimmer of hope came when a few, no, plenty of fellow Filipinos who reside in NYC stepped up and offered to help. We were all over Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, different websites and newsgroups. We pooled together, shared sad stories, talked about volunteering and our willingness to help. After several discussions, we decided to do a happy hour fundraiser - here in New York. $20 donation. Getting people to drink together is easy enough, right?

$20 sounds high to some people, but that's the average cost of one lunch here (with drink). That's just cover charge to get into a trendy club here. That same $20 is perhaps 2 week's worth of groceries a family in the Philippines.

With a little help from our friends, and friends of our friends... we were able to generate almost $4,000 in donations for the typhoon victims. That is an impressive number! Imagine what else we could have done with even more effort. All proceeds went directly to the Ayala Foundation, ANCOP USA, UNICEF and the Philippine National Red Cross.

Our randomly formed un-named group wasn't the only one. There were other groups who organized benefit concerts, clothing drives and fundraising events just in the span of the last few weeks. It felt so good. This is just the beginning, there are more relief efforts to come.

Thank goodness the spirit of bayanihan is still alive. I am still proud to be Filipino, and always will be.

8 Countries and counting...

2009 is probably my husband and my best "honeymoon" travel year (so far). Despite our unacceptable 15-day vacation days allocated per year, we've managed to travel to 8 different countries to date... and there's 4 more to go.

People might think it's excessive (recession and all), but if you only know what we go through in planning these trips (and all the coupon codes and miles we combine), you will be impressed. (Think FREE round trip ticket from NYC to Buenos Aires. Or $379 for a 5 day Scandinavian trip. There's travel, and there's traveling smart. Ha!)

Ireland (January '09)

Czech Republic (January '09)

Argentina (May '09)

Uruguay (May'09)

Brazil (May '09)

Denmark (August '09)

Norway (August '09)

Sweden (August '09)

Next stop... Central America with the family. Can't wait.

Rite of Passage

It was a morning of a bright summer day in '97. I practiced for many months to get my gauge of the road. Using stick shift or automatic transmission, I knew I could handle it. I woke up that day excited for my drivers license test as a teenager. I could not wait to embrace my road independence. Imagine how far I can go with a car?

When I arrived at the Mandaluyong LTO, the process was easy. Take the written test and then the driver's test. It was easy because the written test was the same exact one as the "review material," and the road test was done in a parking lot. Drive one round. Done. No stop signs, school buses or pedestrians. The guy giving the test did not even ask me to do parallel parking or go outside the open road. I got my "non-pro" driver's license that day. I was 15 (almost 16) and on top of the world.

Now, at 28, I am subjected to the hassle of the DMV. Or maybe, I chose to be subjected. I don't need a US driver's license, I don't even own a car! And driving here in NY? Are you kidding? But for some reason, I felt "incomplete" as an adult without it. It's like living with an incomplete checklist.

I know it's weird, but what about my Manila license? It's different... it still has my maiden name! Plus if I get caught using it after living here for a few years, that spells trouble.

So, I took all that's required diligently. I passed the vision test and the written test. I took that grueling 5-hour pre-licensing course. $110 later, I am ready to take my road test! Since they don't do road tests in Manhattan, I have to travel with a licensed driver to the outer boroughs to do the test.

Destination: Red Hook, Brooklyn. I was so confident I was going to pass the test on the first round. D brought a ZipCar and rented it for 5 hours. I've driven for over 12 years now, piece of cake right? Wrong! In fact, after 5 minutes of taking the test, the guy gave me an F. I failed to yield. WTF. -50 points. You can pass if you have -30 points at most. What a downer. But I did not lose hope.

A month later, and after pestering a friend who owns a car (yes, she owns a car!), we were on our way to New Rochelle... about 40 miles north of Manhattan. I woke up at 5AM, left the apartment by 6AM and arrived in Astoria, Queens before 7AM to meet my friend. We drove and arrived in New Rochelle at 8AM - an hour early than my scheduled road test.

I couldn't believe I'm putting up with these inconveniences to get a stupid license.

We practiced around the neighborhood. I did my three-point turns perfectly, even my parallel parking. I was aware of all the street signs and checked all one-way streets. I thought I was all set. My friend even read the "Motorists Prayer" to me, which probably helped in some small way.

To make the long story short, I aced the test and passed with flying colors. I finally got my rite of passage in NYC: a New York driver's license. 'Ahhh. Liberty is mine.

All Over

My best friends, they are all over the world. Manila, California, Hong Kong, Macau. Some are in New York. If only I can put them together in one room for a long-overdue chikahan, I would. I miss you guys! You know who you are.

New York, I Love and Hate You

I’ve been living in New York for over 4 years now, and while a lot of people may say that that’s not enough time to fully understand and appreciate the city, in this process of appreciation, you also find out more about the reasons why people leave. And then you ask yourself why you are still here.

I did fall in love with New York many years ago (when I was not in New York); however, familiarity also breeds contempt. Therefore, here is my see-saw of opposing thoughts in living in what is supposedly the best-est city in the world, but the bane for most.

I love you, New York, because you keep me open-minded and respectful of diversity. I come from a place where people do the same things, go to the same places and talk/dress the same way. You shocked me, New York. Because of you, I met people from all corners of the world, the kind who do not care if I dress this way, or if they dress that way. People who create their own rules and schedules – breakfast at night, and dinner in the morning. People who fight the corporate battle by day, but belly-dance at night. I can be anything in this city, and nobody would give a damn.

I love you New York, but I really hate being 24 hours away from home. There are no direct flights and it’s expensive to fly. Because of you, I became the needy daughter/sister who wants to hear from her family more often. I also became the “friend who left” and as much as I try hard to keep these friendships alive, sometimes people just drift apart. Lastly, when the time comes that David and I have beautiful children, it is harder for them to learn about where I grew up and spend time with their cousins and grand parents. I want them to learn what “po” and “opo” means, and enjoy adobo and sinigang the way I did (and still do) when I was young.

I love you New York because I can get anything and do anything I want without needing to travel over 1 hour. Need a bottle of salsa? Deli's around the corner. Want to hit the beach? Head to Long Island beach. Feel like having Ethiopian for lunch? Head over to Meskerem at the West Village. Want to go skiing? Vermont is just around the corner. Want to see Gossip Girl live action shoots? Walk around UES. Want to learn how to knit, cook, pair wine, golf, dive, model, dance, read palms, make sushi and make money? There are real classes for that.

I love you New York, but I hate how you skew my mind on what your definition of normal is vs. the rest of the world. What do you mean I cannot live comfortably in New York City with an annual income of $500,000? Is this your definition of “middle class?” That’s PHP 24,000,000 (!) or bajillions (to the infinity) in Zimbabwean dollars – more than enough to sustain hundreds of poor communities. With that kind of money, I would be on the top .1% of the Philippines and sending my children to the best schools, owning multiple properties and have 2 dozen house helpers and an in-house pedicurist. And who do you think is that idiot who would buy that $1,000 pizza, dessert or omelette?

Despite this, I still love you New York for contradicting yourself everyday. Many of the richest people in the world live here, but many of the poorest strive to make ends meet with what is left of their $1 daily budget. I can be drinking $18 cocktails uptown, then buy deliciously satisfying $1 falafels downtown. (Which means, I can live in New York with less than a half a million annual salary!)

I hate your dirty, crowded and unpredictable transportation system, New York. Sometimes it takes me 10 minutes to get to my destination – door to door. But other times, it takes me 2 hours! I feel like I’m in a can of sardines every time I take the subway during rush hour. And your giant pet rats on the subway tracks? G to the r-o-s-s.

However, I do appreciate the gifted artists who perform on the subway platform while I wait for these unreliable trains, and how I can go as far as 27.5 miles from the Bronx all the way down to Coney Island for just $2.

I love how you taught me to be more “green” and to downsize, New York. With a 600 sq. ft. apartment, there is no space for random crap that I do not need. I buy just enough food that would fit my pantry, just enough clothes and just enough anything. I am an expert in space management now. Thank you for making it hard for me to own a car, because if I do, I will miss out on the great exercise I get walking around the city and I will be adding more expenses to your already expensive cost of living.

I hate that you scare me from becoming a parent, and in turn, you make me look selfish in front of dutiful suburban parents. I hope they still think well of me for not wanting to be unfair to my unborn child. I mean, we want him/her to live a comfortable life (baby room and all) – it may take some time before that happens when you live/work in New York.

I keep discovering that New York is not built for raising "average" families or parents – but it is built to cultivate Super Moms and Super Dads. Private school: $30,000 per year, per student. In-house nannies: $25-$30/hour + you will need an extra bedroom to house her (which is an extra $1,500 in rent, or $300,000 to own). And it’s not just the cost – the subway, the best restaurants –even your single friends - are unforgiving to babies and strollers.

It may be tough to raise kids here, but it is not impossible and it has its rewards. You, New York, are a great cultural haven for kids (think MoMA, The Met, Central Park, etc) and a great exposure on the concept of diversity for them. I want them to understand and embrace the realities of the differences in religion, sexual orientation, race and societal class.

I hate that because of you, the old friendships that I held so dear has changed in a way I did not expect or want. Not intentionally, but by happenstance. People get busy, they change and grow up. End of story. I do miss them sometimes.

Despite this, I’ve made even more friends now compared to back when I was in Manila. Friends who are genuine and who are like family to me. And oh I love the diversity – in thoughts, views, backgrounds, languages and passions!

I hate that you have taken away the privilege of having household help who would do my laundry and cook for me. These chores add to my already busy schedule.

But I love that because of this, you have made me even more self-sufficient. I have mastered doing laundry as part of my routine, do all my groceries by myself, clean house almost every week and cook very good meals (even our cook back in Manila can't do, thank you very much!) I can do all these, have an active social life, take care of a marriage and a career and not feel too overwhelmed or become senorita. Because of you, I have also learned that you are never truly independent, until you have left your parents house and go off on your own.

Most of all, I love that you have made me fearless. Fearless in taking all kinds of risks, breaking away from the mold that I was in Manila, away from the stereotype that I am to former peers, and in managing beliefs from my family, my peers, my friends and most especially myself.

I can go on and on about how I love and hate you, New York (the weather, the people, the attitude, the convenience and inconveniences, etc.) But I will stop here.

Either way, I am learning more about myself - good and bad - each day I wake up to you. It surprises me all the time. And each time, I am thankful that I am here living my life the way I had imagined it the first day I step foot here. But, you're not off the hook, New York. I still have not forgotten the reasons why I hate you - and sometimes I ask myself, why am I still here?

The view from our apartment

2008 Loves and Hates

Things that I love and hate about 2008 in no particular order:

Love 

1. My hubby

2. Being able to go home 2x this year 

3. Both sides of the family

4. Cheese

5. The Amish Market a block away from our apartment that sells a great cheese selection

6. Our new apartment

7. Keeping in touch with friends, old and new

8. Traveling, lots of it!

9. Still having a job to pay for all that traveling

10. Total independence

11. Morning coffee

12. Really good wine

13. Recessionista specials

14. Learning how to cook more complex dishes

15. The occasional suburbia getaways - hello, Walmart and Costco!

16. Commute to work

17. Presidential Election Results 2008. Yes we can.

18. Facebook

19. Gossip Girl, Mad Men, Lipstick Jungle, Family Guy, Food Network

20. New York City

21. Optimism

22. Love

23. Work-life balance

24. Surprise parties

25. Swiffer duster

26. Dishwashers

27. California weather

28. Recycling

29. Cheap but good restaurants

30. Wearing black any time of the year, and not getting penalized for it.

Hate

1. The US Recession

2. Massive layoffs

3. Liars

4. Getting ripped off

5. My old boss, ha!

6. Neverending wars in the Middle East

7. Bush

8. Filling out forms for random stuff - medical insurance, claims, visa application, taxes etc. Just thinking about it hurts my head.

9. People who are full of drama

10. "Puede na" mentality

11. Seafood pasta

12. Global warming

13. Jetlag

14. Getting stuck in an airport

15. Wintry mix

16. Greyhound Bus

17. 30-something guys who don't have their act together. Grow up.

18. Douche bags and airheads

19. Incompetency

20. The Real Housewives of anything

21. The Bad Girls Club

22. Senorita in Manila mentality. Hello, that was Manila. This is New York. Go back home to your yayas if you cannot handle making turo turo the fishball.

23. Coughing with phlegm - ick.

24. Messy anything 

25. $25 cover to enter a trendy bar - I mean, really? Or am I just too old for that?

26. Hummers

27. Winter slosh

28. Clowns. They are not funny at all.

29.  Subway stations that smell like pee

30. Monday morning meetings

Communicate

If there is one thing I'd have to accept and live with about my family, is that they are not very good about communicating. 

It does not matter that they all have mobile phones that they can use to call or text, even if they are abroad. It's probably too expensive for their taste. 

It does not matter that they have multiple laptops and access to emails 24/7. They probably have sore fingers, that they are unable to type.

It does not matter that in this day and age, there are countless numbers of instant messaging devices - Yahoo Messenger, GTalk, Skype, Meebo, etc. They probably have bad internet connection for most of the time.

It does not matter that we have set up VoIP in our home so that they would not have to pay exorbitant fees for international calls. Months go by and that phone still goes unused. (I call, but nobody picks up.)

If I were them, I would not have any excuse not to keep in touch. Reach out. Communicate. Say hi. Hello. How are you. We miss you. We love you. Or say Merry Christmas at least. But I am not them, and they probably have an excuse somewhere.

If we were in a long-distance relationship, we would have broken up by now.

But that's just how they are and I still love them for them. 

Friends Forever?

I logged on to my Friendster account after so long and went through all my testimonials. Most of the people who wrote me are old friends from back home. Some of them said things like "friends forever" or "we'll be friends no matter what". It almost brought tears to my eyes.

I have to say I tried to stay loyal and I tried to stay friends, but it seems like what they said are just fluffy words. I wonder... is it time, distance, communication or New York that came in the way? Whatever happened to "no matter what"? What ever happened to that?

Congratulations, President Obama!

Yes we did! What a historic night.

Missing Manila

As the temperature goes down and winter slowly kicks in (yes, we had some snow in parts of NY and it’s only FALL!), I can’t deny that I miss Manila weather. In fact, I’m missing Manila yet again. I have already visited twice this year, but for the first time, I will not be spending Christmas and New Years back home. For the first time, I will be spending the holidays with my “other” wonderful family, David’s. I can’t explain this feeling I have – it’s like a habit that I know I have to break at some point, because I’ve embraced this change in my life.

Ahhh, I miss the Christmas season in Manila. I remember being able to complete all of the “simbang gabi” and knowing deep down that I’m prepared to marry if I did so (talaga lang ha!). Only because it takes a huge sacrifice (especially for a non-morning person) to wake up at 4AM everyday for 16 days to hear mass. I remember the carolers outside of houses singing in the wrong tune, and the grumpy old ladies shooing them away. I remember the Noche Buena feast my mom would usually prepare for us; that large ham that’s gone by end of night, and the queso de bola that’s always left untouched (what’s in that thing anyway?), and of course, the very tasty and creamy tsokolate that’s always served in a tea pot that was a gift to my parents for my wedding (yes, a 30 year old pot). I remember our silly holiday pre-requisites, like wearing the same-colored shirts and opening all cabinets and drawers to let all the blessings (and the pollution) in.

I will also miss one of my best friend’s wedding this time – it breaks my heart but I can’t keep going home every time there’s a wedding! (might as well just send the couple a $2,000 check instead of paying for my ticket).

The cold weather reminds me of how much I miss my first home, Manila. Someday I will be back. Because I always keep coming back to Manila (and that song is now in my head). But in the meantime, the cold, cold New York is home.

Christmas in 2005. Color Theme: Orange

Bryant Park Lunch

Here's the view of my nice little getaway lunch at Bryant Park - just pick up your food from a deli, sit at a random chair and enjoy. There's live piano music in the background too, for free. Wishing summer never ends.


Behind this view is the New York Public Library


There's the pianist (with his yellow piano) and some random New Yorkers

I Saw The King!

On my way to work yesterday, I chanced upon this Burger King shoot right in front of my office building. (That's a fake bus stop by the way.)

Your Lunch Hour (should) Revolve Around Me, Because The World Does

Imagine this situation.

A guy from way back calls a girl and tells her he'll be in town. He asks her if they can have lunch on a work day - and if she can treat him out. Fine. (Only because she makes a bajillion times more money than him, so fine.) The girl was early and got a table at this restaurant. He arrived and they said hi (after not seeing each other for almost 4 years). As soon as they sat down, the guy starts taking out his video camera and started showing the girl 20+ videos of himself:

- making speeches in front of a crowd
- shaking hands with the masses
- in his travels
- hugging little kids
- making more speeches in front of a crowd
- more shaking hands
- more blahs

.. and other really boring stuff that apparently appears very interesting to him.

And then when he noticed the girl was bored with these videos, he starts talking about himself more. I did this. I am a head of this. I did a project here. I am dating this girl. I am the youngest this and that. I am a teacher, a Ph.D student, a media personality, a hearthrob, a politician. I am the most f*cking awesome guy in this f*cking planet.

For one hour.

Yes, one hour it was all about him. It's not like the girl had a 10-hour lunch break! She thought this is a total waste of time. He just had to take the whole time to talk about his sheer awesomeness. Maybe because he didn't hear an ooh or an aaah from the girl, that's why he had to keep on going. She wasn't impressed, if at all, she was dying of boredom.


The girl's facial expression was like this

And then she cut him off and asked, "After talking about yourself for one hour, aren't you even going to ask how I am doing?". He was defensive and said that the girl didn't want to share what's up with her. Didn't want?? Or didn't have a chance?

Perhaps out of obligation, he asked her "So how did you get your job?". And she answered. He didn't have further questions. Nothing about how's life in New York? How's your marriage? How's your family? When did you last travel? Where's your next destination? Are you having kids soon?

He didn't want to hear that she was doing so much better now that she did before with him. He didn't want to know that she lives in a fabulous Manhattan apartment (when he still lives at home with his family), she has a fabulous job (something he never thought she would achieve because women can only do so much and be this much) and a fabulous husband (when he can only date women 8 years his junior - they may be pretty, but they are naive and stupid). He didn't want to hear about the many places she's been. He didn't want to admit that she's become more successful, hotter, richer, sexier than ever! (haha, ok maybe not all of that)

This guy hasn't changed. He still lives in this fantasy world that revolves around him. He's still a self-absorbed, arrogant prick. He tells her she hasn't changed, but he won't admit that he hasn't.

How I wish this is fiction, but it's not. This was my latest experience with my ex. He told me he's glad that we're friends again... but the last I checked, friends are supposed to care about each other. Not just about one's self. I mean, bless his soul but my wish is that someday, he'll meet someone who can put him in his place.

Some things never change. I told David about this when I got home, and it gave us a good laugh.

2008 Beijing Olympics

Today kicks off the 2008 Beijing Olympics. China has done a great job in its very lavish opening ceremony in Beijing. What a historic moment. Happy 8-8-08 everyone! May today bring you great luck!








Photo credits: NY Times

One Thing About Traveling

...that I hate. It's missed connections due to flight delays.
I am at Chicago O'Hare right now waiting inside the aircraft as mechanics figure out some technical problem. David and I have been traveling for 16 hours from NYC and we've only gone as far as Chicago! 3 more flights to go before we reach Montana... yes, a less than ideal itinerary, but in concept, it's the best we have right now. I hate american airlines! That's why I prefer international travel, or nonstop anything.
This is horsesh*t.

Sunk Cost

When I was almost 2, to get me off the baby bottle, all my mom had to tell me was "You are not drinking from your bottle anymore... beginning tomorrow." And I stopped. Some kids would throw a tantrum and need more pushing than that -- like hiding the bottles, or mixing hot pepper with the milk in the bottle. All I needed was for her to tell me that I'm not getting it anymore. I didn't argue, and so I let go of the bottle and switched to kiddie cups.

That memory made me realize something about myself -- that I can easily let go. It doesn't matter if I've had my bottle for almost 2 years, all I needed was some self-convincing and I can move on to other things. I understood what "sunk costs" meant at a very young age, and it carries on to this day.

The author at almost 1