Sometimes I think about how amazing it is that people who come from the same exact background end up on the opposite end in life. Back in the Philippines, although we had set standards to make and meet, my peers and I lived in neutral ground. My friends and I came from the same school, hung out with the same crowd and ate at the same places. Everything is familiar and we barely needed to adjust. It was "home" anyway. We had our 'own' cars, we had maids to do our laundry, we get the same quality of education and end up in similar jobs earning about the same salaries. Most importantly, we had our families around to lean on. It is like living in a world that is set by standards that our family and the environment has made for us -- the "Gold" standard, if I may. We shamelessly talked about it. We were young, driven and successful. We aspired to be more.
In my case, that aspiration brought me to a place like New York City. I wasn't alone though. I shared this aspiration with plenty of my closest friends. Some of whom have even bigger dreams than I do. We jumped for joy to be given the opportunity to be here, and we reminisced non-stop on how this was all just a dream we would aspire back home. And then reality hits.
An unfamiliar place like New York City can bring out the best or the worst out of someone. To many, this is the greatest city in the world (I beg to differ though). Here is where dreams turn into aspirations which turn into realistic competition which turns into success or loss. Dreams do not define you in this place -- everyone's a dreamer anyway. The naked truth does. No longer are we in neutral grounds. We are now in a place where we are pushed to make difficult choices that can either help us live up to our standards, compromise them or just give them up. Imagine bringing a "rock star" from the Philippines to mingle with other equally good or far better "rock stars" from different places around the world, put them all in one place and watch them eat each other's guts. At least one of them is bound to be the weakest link.
I observe myself and my friends as we face this challenge. Some lower their standards, some "settle" and, thankfully, some never give up. Some planned ahead. Some do so well. Some don't do well at all. Some underestimate. Some overlooked or pretend to overlook. Some forget about dreams just to survive. And then I wonder, why make this big leap?
When we get together, we try our best to ignore the fact that we long to be back to that familiar space. We talk about going back home, or being back from home, or Greenbelt, or who is moving back and who has moved here too. We get together, but try not to talk about standards. It always gets tricky. You talk about "Gold" standards and at least one of them starts to cringe. We sugarcoat and talk about shallow things and accept that as it is. Sad to say, we hardly talk about dreams anymore. I ask myself -- is it because we're already living the dream and we take that for granted? Have we redefined these standards? Or is it because we don't want to admit we have lost that along the way -- as we traveled and dreamt and wandered in this unfamiliar place.
