Blogging at 2:26 AM

It's 2:26 in the morning and I am still working. I think this is the point when I realize my dream turns into reality, but then you learn that that reality wasn't really your dream.

When I was younger, I dreamt of New York a lot. I wanted to work in Madison Avenue and make it big. It was a passion that I was pursuing. Now that I am where I wanted to be, it's not 100% fun (what a surprise!) and I keep thinking to myself even intense passion does not make it any more exciting.

Everyday I learn something new about myself as I live in this kind of pace, and I value that. I still like what I do, but the stress is creeping up on me. I have only been in this job for 6 months but it feels a lot like 2 years.

It's probably just a generation thing - as a Gen-Yer, I feel "entitled" to lead a good work-life balance, being able to pursue personal passions outside of work. Those of which include traveling, and traveling, and traveling. Oh I miss those days when work IS traveling. Maybe I'm in the wrong industry. Heck, I'm still young and life is a journey - it's just faster in New York.

Mentor Advice

At work, we have a mentorship program where you get paired up with someone that fits your mentorship needs and is a level above you. I breached the system and reached out to an SVP (5 levels above me) who has a very good reputation and highly successful at what he does. I wrote a long introduction about myself in an email, and talked about how we have a lot in common and plenty to talk about. It's selling oneself to someone else is what I despise the most, but need to be good at. Within a few minutes, he responded with an enthusiastic one-liner: "Let's do it!" It was unexpected, and I was so thrilled.

I got the chance to meet him in person for the first time last week and he gave me his very first "mentor" advice, which will forever be with me and will pass on to my mentee and my children and my grandchildren. He said "Where I'm going is where I've never been."

Lalim, pare.

Catching Up Post

Bloggy blog blog. See how time flies without a word on this page. Let’s see – here is a rundown of what happened between the last post and now.

I took 3 weeks off from work to head to the Philippines. Before that, my co-workers threw me a surprise bridal shower (which was really sweet). It was set up as a “fake meeting” on my work calendar.

Getting back home, I learned that in most cases, my closest friends (and family) know me more than I do myself. They also gave me a very touching (and relaxing) spa bridal shower. I learned that the only way for parents to sincerely let kids off the hook is when they see they have a good set of wings to fly as high as they imagined them – or more. We all found relief that Wedding #2 in Manila was over – an equally emotional but different experience than the first. Went to Boracay with the whole family (including David’s) – I saw two yellow fish in the shallows, and people got sunburned. My husband and I spent a few days in Singapore to get away from “it” all.

Now we’re back to our daily NY grind. I’m back at work – back in the rat race, blech. What race? He started at his new job – yay, double income! Being married got us boring. We yawn at midnight during a night out. We clean the bathtub and do laundry in the weekends. We hang out with married friends, and friends who want to be married. ;-) I threw a baby shower for a friend. He became a godfather to his best friend’s new daughter a few days ago. This married couple concept is all over our lives. We deal with having an absentee roommate to save up for – uhm, things we want but not necessarily need. And eventually for a little bundle of joy (note the word "eventually").

But some things don’t change. I still dance to Shakira, we still drink like we’re alcoholics and we still celebrate monthseries. The roaches from my previous post are still in the kitchen too – hiding.

I Summer In Pam's Kitchen

My favorite season has arrived and I am back in my flip flops. Sun, skirts, sunglasses and smoothies, what a wonderful thing. It's like tropical paradise with skyscrapers.

It's during the summer when I make sure I keep my apartment as clean as possible: no food left outside, all dishes are cleaned after use, the garbage is taken out regularly and I dust more often than I usually do. I pray to God that he will reward me with an apartment that's spic and span.

I do this because this season usually brings out the bane of my existence: cockroaches. They summer in my apartment. And every other apartment in New York (only their owners don't know that yet).

They sneak up on you in the shower. They crawl up in your wall, flapping their wings ready to fly. They hide in the darkest, most discreet spaces and come out to play quietly in the night. Worst of all, they procreate like crazy and before you know it, those 100 tiny babies are 2 inches long and all over your apartment.

Oh and what grosses me the most is the crunchy sound of their bodies when you give them a quick, painless death - using my poor flip flops. Maybe that's why I said earlier I am back in my flip flops. Gross. Ugh.

NYU's 175th Commencement Exercises

Yep, I was there (and so was mom!) :) Good times!

How does the alma mater song go again?

Web 2.0 Video

This point of this video is so scary and very true. I love it.

Someone I Look Up To

I had drinks with my former boss tonight and as much as I convince myself that my new boss is great, I always fail because there is NOBODY (thus far) like her as a manager and a friend. I don't think I have ever said this about my old bosses, but I do want to be like her someday.

She makes the decision of leaving my old company more painful, but life does go on... and it goes very fast.

Being Single In NY

Living in New York for a few years, I have made a lot of friends with wonderful people in their late 20s and early 30s. Most of them are single, but highly successful in their careers. You may think that their lives revolve around getting up early, getting to work, and getting ahead. But when you ask them out for drinks after work to catch up, you find that there is more beneath this facade they are portraying.

The Corrs sang "...everybody's searching for intimacy..." and that's exactly how my friends feel. I get the privilege to listen to their masked frustrations and loneliness. And they keep asking me questions I don't have any answers for.

Sometimes I bite my lip about telling them how great marriage is, instead, I ask them if they have a hot date and get excited about the details. They would end their juicy story though telling me that the dating scene in the city is really tough. Perhaps they should move to these cities to get better chances ;-) Thank goodness anyway for Match.com.

As they blow their birthday cake every year, simultaneously they are throwing bachelorette parties and baby showers one by one - and could not explain the happiness they feel seeing a close friend get settled, but at the same time, feel empty and secretly wanting the same.

Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City said that in New York, you can only get two of three things: a great guy, a great job and a great apartment. The sad part is, it is almost always true. You can't have it all. That is why you pour yourself a drink, give a toast to singlehood and find strength in your married friends who always give you hope.

Only In Da Pilipins

Bread Pitt
- a bakery.

Candies Be Love?
- a candy store

Tapsi Turbi
- a tapa house.

Isda best; Pusit to the limit; and Hipon coming back
- are entrees on the menu of a seafood restaurant.

Pansit ng taga-Malaboni
- a panciteria on Boni Avenue, Mandaluyong.

Let's Goat-Together
- a kambingan-cum- beer garden.

The Way We Wear
- a boutique.

Goldilooks
- a barber shop.

Fernando Pe's Box Office Hits
- a video rental shop in Palawan.

Leon King
- a Video Rental in Las Piñas.

Singalong Sing-along
- a karaoke bar in (where else?) - Singalong.

LSS

This is one of my favorite Last Song Syndrome addictions at the moment. Listen here.
Oh I love your voice, Jennifer. Just not your Oscar dela Renta bolero.

I Will Miss And I Look Forward To

I am still at work and waiting for my husband to get into the city so we can go together and grab some $5 mojitos. I am done with all my work for today and thought I should leave work now (it’s 5:40pm – ahhh, so early!) and just explore Union Square, but it’s too cold out and everyone knows I hate the cold, so I’m just fixating myself to my office computer, chained to my desk and being counterproductive… blogging.

In about two weeks, I will be moving to a new company and I am very excited about it. Yes, I took the leap and went out of my comfort zone. I will miss my spreadsheets, my data and the stories that I pull out of my data. I will miss all the free magazines I can get that takes up 60% of my apartment (I have to get rid of them sometime). I will miss witnessing how People editors scramble upon hearing that a celebrity shaved off her hair, or had twins or died. I will miss getting “kicked out” of the office when the clock strikes 5. I will miss just bumping into Anne Moore in the building. I will miss my colleagues who are all very smart, very nice and very supportive and have nothing else but encouraging words and happiness to offer when I told them I am leaving. I will miss my boss who is one of the smartest, kindest and most genuine people I have ever met in my professional life. She will be hard to replace, and I won’t stop comparing her with my future bosses until I meet someone at par.

On the other hand, I look forward to working with a new team of bright, young and dynamic personalities. I look forward to working with hardworking and fun gay people. I look forward to learning more about the online space and functioning in online-speak even with my eyes closed. I look forward to working on a global brand that is known in every corner of the earth. I look forward to working on marketing campaigns that span Asia, Europe, North America and other parts of the world. I look forward to being anal about my presentations because my clients are anal too. I look forward to free bagels every Friday. I look forward to being part of a company that is top-tier in the industry and is in a growth stage. I look forward to a new challenge.

Oops – my husband’s here, I gotta split.

I look forward to mojitos on a Friday night.

Married Name

For some reason, I was too preoccupied with my thinking about unnecessary things that I failed to share that I had recently changed my name to my married name!

During my lunch hour last week, I went to Social Security, presented my marriage certificate and voila!

"Please sign on this line, ma'am."

PGilford.

Like it was a normal day.

Then it sank in - oh my gawd!@#!@%!^@^$%

I went back to work and told my boss, and she gave me a high five!

Good Job

I am so anxious now, that I think faster than I write.

I am anxious because I want to make it right, to make my next career move right.

It's stupid. I feel insecure about my ability to get a good job. My husband keeps telling me I am doing more than well. It's all I need to hear.

I don't know what will make me stop thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking too hard.

Yes, I will land a great job - or a good job at least. Good job, Pam.

Skiing

I am going skiing in Vermont this weekend, my first ever experience in my life. I would probably be staying in the baby mountains with other beginners, while my husband hits the black diamond trails. It's like taking swimming class for the first time, when I'd paddle around the 2 ft. pool area, when everyone else was diving 12 ft. underwater.

According to google, it'll be 2F on Friday, with lows of -8F. Yey!

Let's see how a tropical country gal like me could survive. Survivor Vermont. (Corny)

I Heart My Boss

Because she lets me, I mean, she encourages me to look for jobs outside of the company during work hours and gives me access to her b-school career site so I can find better options than agency jobs. And I get paid for that.

I also heart the boss of my boss, because she is forwarding my resume to her friends who work in good companies and is putting in a good word for me. And she does this using her work email, during work hours.

If only every boss in New York is this way... but this is obviously a special case. And I am below the radar in terms of the politics part. Ah, let me be idealistic for a little while longer. How much longer?

Married Woman Blogging

All the wedding preparations and married life adjustments made me forget that my blog still exists. I am back, and a new year welcomes me with plenty of exciting changes and challenges.

Most of you had already seen wedding photos, and I have already shared how wonderful the whole experience was. Everything about it was moving in so many ways. Both David and I were glad that our families were very supportive in all levels. Think tying ribbon on boutonnaires and cooking Filipino food for 40. Maids were nonexistent, so we all had to do things ourselves.

Much to our frustration, about 50% of our time was spent putting together decorations for the boat, which was probably the least important thing about the event. And the last thing David and I focused on was our vows. (I finished writing mine the morning of the wedding!) However, during the event itself, the vows stood out the most - more than any pine cone detail we had put together on each table centerpiece. Which makes me pity crazy bridezillas who don't get the whole meaning of a wedding.

Moving forward... the Hawaii honeymoon was great. We were able to relax plenty and literally "get away" from our families. We watched wild dolphins and whales, flew on a helicopter and drank plenty of mai tais. I can still taste the pineapples. The weather was perfect, and I was able to slip into my bikini again after such a long time.

After that, it's back to the reality of New York. Blah. Cold weather. Cleaning up. Laundry for two. Bills. Rent. And married life begins...

And there's that other wedding to prepare for!