As A 24 Yr. Old Should Be

Abraham Lincoln once said, " And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

I am 2 years younger than most of my peers. But our difference in age is as blurry as grey. I consider myself lucky because I was given the chance to mature earlier than I needed. So, whatever my peers have experienced or are experiencing, I consider them my own. On the flipside, if I act 2 years older than my age, a few people would misunderstand or doubt me. As if credibility, like wisdom, has to come with age. "That's not how a 24 year old should act." And then the "should" word comes into play.

(As the marrying month of June opens, allow me to indulge in my unsolicited thoughts on marriage.)

I turn 24 this month as most of my peers turn 26 this year: the unofficial age of getting engaged or getting married. And it brings huge smiles on my face hearing their proposal stories, seeing them gush or just show off the sparkling, gigantic rocks on their fingers. Endless planning, checklisting, reserving, canvassing and even food/wine tasting - just to create that perfect wedding, on that one perfect day! All the wedding preparations are reviewed in detail.

As I listen to them do their best not to transform words into shrieks, my left brain worked like hell at one point.

But what about the post-wedding preparations? What about the more essential things to consider when in a marriage? - Psychological, physical, mental, emotional and most importantly, financial security? What about meeting each other's family and friends? Having pep talks with the bride's dad and getting his blessing? Isn't it that short engagements generally give couples less of a chance to discover more about one another? Are they ready to have children and raise a family? I ask, have they known their partners enough to accept each other's morning breath for the rest of their lives? - and even love each other more for that?

But my right brain wanted to debate.

More than the essentials, marriage is all about commitment, love, risks and faith. From there, good things will spring forth. Come hell or high water, with committed effort, the perfect couple will rise to the occasion with flying colors. All the hurdles will be easily overcomed with faith. And yes, love will still prevail - and as in the age-old adage, it will move mountains. In the end, the right time, the right age and even the right dress will not matter.

I admire my friends who are taking their time before setting the date so as to sort out "the" essentials of the M-word. However, I am also wowed by my friends who jump right into it, with closed eyes and tons of faith.

At 24, I did say that I consider my 26 year old peers' experiences as my own. They have found The One, and I have as well. Choosing to be together for the rest of our lives is not even a question. But one thing differs them from me at this point. They have already chosen to succumb to either their left or their right brain. I, however, am still left wondering in the middle. I guess I am not acting 2 years ahead of my age, soooo... I'm probably on the right track. I still am 24. And at this point, this is how I should be.

Ma-dread

Forgive me for the dreadful title. On May 14, 2005, I was robbed in Madrid.

Just upon our arrival in the airport from New York. I put my purse on my pushcart to hug my sister hello. Two decent-looking men approached me and my sister asking where Terminal 8 was. And I was just being helpful and told them there is no such terminal as Madrid only has 3. And they thanked Helpful Pam with smiles on their faces. And they carried on.

When I looked back at my pushcart, my handbag was gone. It was seamless. Very professionally done. Bravo. What disappoints me is that I was so, so, so, so, so aware of how bad burglary is in Spain - and I did my best to put my bag as close to my body, like glue. But in one split second, I was had.

In some weird way, it makes me feel better talking about what I have lost, so I shall enlist them here. (In case you want to know if I had copies of my documents, yes I did - but they were in the same purse, as I just had them duplicated leaving NYC to JFK. I learned about separating copies the hard way.):

1. Passport with visas - My valid visas include my F-1 visa, B1/B2 visa and my Schengen visa to enter Spain. The invalid ones are from different countries, those that I so wanted to keep to show my grandchildren.

2. NYU Documents - my I-20 form and other immigration documents to be presented when entering the US again

3. Canon Powershot S400 - contains my 256mb memory card and my boyfriend's 512 mb memory card

4. Cellphones - My Motorola V300 and my Sony Ericsson P900 - all my contacts and numbers are there

5. Wallet - $$$, credit cards, ID's, Driver's License, photos

6. Travel Wallet - Inside it were my mileage cards, more $$$, RT e-ticket, my bus pass

7. iPod mini - My precious treasure I find very useful when in New York, given by my boyfriend

8. My new make-up and accessories

9. Keys to my apartment


I must have missed some more but above are the important ones. Yes, it made me feel a tad bit depressed. I felt frustrated not because I lost my valuable material things, but because replacing all them back is such a hassle. Not to mention that I would have to forego a really good internship opportunity as I couldn't go back to the US unless I fly to Manila to get a new F-1 visa. And, to boot, since I lost my Schengen visa, I couldn't join the tour group til the end of the trip.

My loved ones and friends have all been supportive. My parents, especially my mom, kept in touch and did her best to let me enjoy the rest of my vacation. My boyfriend, David, lifted my sunken morale by reassuring me that everything will be ok. My Ate stood by me when we missed a day of the tour. My Tita Fe called her Madrid friends to take care of me throughout the whole ordeal. Tito Rudy and Tita Julie are such blessings.

Writing the above things are already moot to me. I have moved on and have accepted what happened as another interesting story to share my future kids and grandkids. :) What a great adventure to have lost my passport and everything else in a foreign land! :)

I don't have much to say about this incident, except that I didn't allow it to ruin my tour, nor dampen my ability to write and be inspired. I still had fun shopping the souqs and watching authentic bellydancing in Morocco. Seville's Plaza de Espana is very enthralling. And I was still thrilled to visit Fatima in Portugal. As promised, I shall share some travel writing with you next time.

The Moorish friend that I had met at the tour left me a valuable lesson that I brought home with me. He said, "At the worst, the wise sees the good in things."

Now I am back in Manila and will enjoy the rest of my summer here with my family. I'm back to a larger home, Greenbelt dining, cheaper haircuts, home-cooked meals and no laundry to do. I will even be able to spend my birthday with my loved ones! Also, one by one, I have already begun replacing my important cards and documents, not letting all the hassles get the best of me.

What can I say? Did this incident make me wiser or luckier? :) Take your pick.

I Shall Return

Not exactly as Douglas McArthur said it. But, kinda.
Spring Semester is over! What better way to spend summer than to... fly to Europe!

I will be away for 17 days, in search for the best tapas in Spain, the rich history of Portugal and the fabulous souqs in Morocco. While I'm at it, I might succumb to some more travel writing - which I will share to you next time.

When I come back, I might have already found myself a good set of bongs to display in my room ;-) Nyahaha.

Put the Lime in the Coke, You Nut

I am so amused with this really silly Coke Lime commercial. I'd give it the "clever" award for TV commercials. Check it out.

Some things are just too good to be bad for you

Probably the best thing that ever happened to cupcakes. Only found at Magnolia Bakery (Bleeker at 11th St.) - one of New York's best kept secrets. I took a big bite before realizing that this is worth posting in my blog.

Be

When we are younger, we have simpler dreams. Everyday, these dreams grow bigger and limitless. And we are taught that we can be anybody we want to be. We can just be and we will be well.

Let me backtrack a bit.

All I ever wanted when I was 9 was to be a My Little Pony collector.
When I was 12, I wanted to be a "cool" teenager and have my own bedroom.
At 15, I wanted to be pleasing to my parents, get good grades, get into a good college and learn how to drive a stick shift.
When I turned 16, I wanted to be thin, lose weight, cultivate great friendships and wear trendy heels.
I wanted to be a Masters Degree graduate when I was 18.
A year after, I worked towards the dream of being in New York.
At 20, I wanted to be more independent and get a job that would let me buy Starbucks coffee everyday, and pay ridiculous parking fares.
At tender 21, I wanted to be traveling and travel-writing all over the world.
Now I'm 23, and all my dreams in the past have become reality, I want to find my next aspiration, live my passions and go dancing!

It seems like as we grow older, our dreams become more complex (feel free to correct me here). Everyday, you discover people and things that make you aspire to be somebody, to be somewhere. And you have the people who have been there with you since you were young (and aspiring to be the biggest My Little Pony collector) to thank for.

More than just keeping with the Filipino tradition of utang na loob, I consciously indebt myself to my parents for a very long time. Without their support and push, I wouldn't be where I am today. For the times that they've accepted what I fought for and what I believed in over dinner (as against their rules), for the many times that they have taught me values by being good examples, and their incredible ability to provide us with comfort and smiles despite life's adversities. They are awesome, and I don't think I could have any better set of folks in my life. Someday, I will be able to repay them in whatever fashion - personal success, perhaps? (with its infinite definitions).

I am also very grateful for my siblings Ate Abby, Doyti and Jay-ar, and the rest of my relatives. I am fortunate to have such caring sisters and brother, that even if they are far away now, I know they send me prayers to keep me safe and out of harm. We are always just pakipot, but deep inside, we love each other the way siblings do. We would get into each other's nerves sometimes, however, we would still fight great battles and kill for each other. Clearly we have different personalities and plans, but we support and cover up for each other, sometimes to my parents' chagrin. ;-)

I miss my family a lot, and living away from them will not make it any better. But as selfish as it may sound, whatever choices I make in life (large and small), and no matter how much my dreams get simpler or more complex every time, I know they will always have my back and will never cease to just let me be. I would do the same for them without question (but with care).

The Grand Grand Central

Everyday, thousands of New Yorkers commute or walk through Grand Central (at 42nd and Lexington), but they fail to appreciate and see its splendor and beauty. It's a very grandiose station, where Metro North Railway trains connect to different places in CT. Plenty of Connecticans who work in NYC drop by here everyday, and vice versa. I am one of the lucky ones who get to pass by it everyday on my commute to school and back.

I tried to capture how amazing it is this morning, after staying over at a friend's place in Astoria.
After picking up a cup of coffee and a piece of croissant for breakfast at 830am, we took the 7 train from Queens and I got off at Grand Central. These are photos of a New Yorker's early morning commute to work.

Notice the hustle and bustle.

Notice, too, how the I was able to capture people walking, as they pass by in a blur.

Here is my favorite passageway when walking in Grand Central: the Grand Central Market. It's got all sorts of food (sold at ridiculous prices): cheeses, desserts, meats, fruits, veggies, etc.

An ironic scenario: sashaying and doing a lah-di-dah, while everyone else was rushing and trying to catch something. :)

Weekend Things

What does a full-time student in New York do in the long weekends?

a) She participates and helps give out bananas for the walkers/runners for the Revlon walk/run benefit for breast cancer, in the foggy rain in Central Park.

b) She checks out the street fair at the Tribeca Film Festival, eats colored popcorn and watches kids perform and get little manicures... right in the heart of Tribeca.

c) She meets up with friends for drinks at a nearby Irish Pub in Midtown.

d) She does chores all day: cleaning the tub, washing the dishes, wiping the dust of the floor, vacuuming the carpet, cleaning the windows. (no need for photos!)

e) She eats $6.99 Chicken Tikka Masala from Hurry and Tasty Curry.