2008 Loves and Hates

Things that I love and hate about 2008 in no particular order:

Love 

1. My hubby

2. Being able to go home 2x this year 

3. Both sides of the family

4. Cheese

5. The Amish Market a block away from our apartment that sells a great cheese selection

6. Our new apartment

7. Keeping in touch with friends, old and new

8. Traveling, lots of it!

9. Still having a job to pay for all that traveling

10. Total independence

11. Morning coffee

12. Really good wine

13. Recessionista specials

14. Learning how to cook more complex dishes

15. The occasional suburbia getaways - hello, Walmart and Costco!

16. Commute to work

17. Presidential Election Results 2008. Yes we can.

18. Facebook

19. Gossip Girl, Mad Men, Lipstick Jungle, Family Guy, Food Network

20. New York City

21. Optimism

22. Love

23. Work-life balance

24. Surprise parties

25. Swiffer duster

26. Dishwashers

27. California weather

28. Recycling

29. Cheap but good restaurants

30. Wearing black any time of the year, and not getting penalized for it.

Hate

1. The US Recession

2. Massive layoffs

3. Liars

4. Getting ripped off

5. My old boss, ha!

6. Neverending wars in the Middle East

7. Bush

8. Filling out forms for random stuff - medical insurance, claims, visa application, taxes etc. Just thinking about it hurts my head.

9. People who are full of drama

10. "Puede na" mentality

11. Seafood pasta

12. Global warming

13. Jetlag

14. Getting stuck in an airport

15. Wintry mix

16. Greyhound Bus

17. 30-something guys who don't have their act together. Grow up.

18. Douche bags and airheads

19. Incompetency

20. The Real Housewives of anything

21. The Bad Girls Club

22. Senorita in Manila mentality. Hello, that was Manila. This is New York. Go back home to your yayas if you cannot handle making turo turo the fishball.

23. Coughing with phlegm - ick.

24. Messy anything 

25. $25 cover to enter a trendy bar - I mean, really? Or am I just too old for that?

26. Hummers

27. Winter slosh

28. Clowns. They are not funny at all.

29.  Subway stations that smell like pee

30. Monday morning meetings

Communicate

If there is one thing I'd have to accept and live with about my family, is that they are not very good about communicating. 

It does not matter that they all have mobile phones that they can use to call or text, even if they are abroad. It's probably too expensive for their taste. 

It does not matter that they have multiple laptops and access to emails 24/7. They probably have sore fingers, that they are unable to type.

It does not matter that in this day and age, there are countless numbers of instant messaging devices - Yahoo Messenger, GTalk, Skype, Meebo, etc. They probably have bad internet connection for most of the time.

It does not matter that we have set up VoIP in our home so that they would not have to pay exorbitant fees for international calls. Months go by and that phone still goes unused. (I call, but nobody picks up.)

If I were them, I would not have any excuse not to keep in touch. Reach out. Communicate. Say hi. Hello. How are you. We miss you. We love you. Or say Merry Christmas at least. But I am not them, and they probably have an excuse somewhere.

If we were in a long-distance relationship, we would have broken up by now.

But that's just how they are and I still love them for them. 

Friends Forever?

I logged on to my Friendster account after so long and went through all my testimonials. Most of the people who wrote me are old friends from back home. Some of them said things like "friends forever" or "we'll be friends no matter what". It almost brought tears to my eyes.

I have to say I tried to stay loyal and I tried to stay friends, but it seems like what they said are just fluffy words. I wonder... is it time, distance, communication or New York that came in the way? Whatever happened to "no matter what"? What ever happened to that?

Congratulations, President Obama!

Yes we did! What a historic night.

Missing Manila

As the temperature goes down and winter slowly kicks in (yes, we had some snow in parts of NY and it’s only FALL!), I can’t deny that I miss Manila weather. In fact, I’m missing Manila yet again. I have already visited twice this year, but for the first time, I will not be spending Christmas and New Years back home. For the first time, I will be spending the holidays with my “other” wonderful family, David’s. I can’t explain this feeling I have – it’s like a habit that I know I have to break at some point, because I’ve embraced this change in my life.

Ahhh, I miss the Christmas season in Manila. I remember being able to complete all of the “simbang gabi” and knowing deep down that I’m prepared to marry if I did so (talaga lang ha!). Only because it takes a huge sacrifice (especially for a non-morning person) to wake up at 4AM everyday for 16 days to hear mass. I remember the carolers outside of houses singing in the wrong tune, and the grumpy old ladies shooing them away. I remember the Noche Buena feast my mom would usually prepare for us; that large ham that’s gone by end of night, and the queso de bola that’s always left untouched (what’s in that thing anyway?), and of course, the very tasty and creamy tsokolate that’s always served in a tea pot that was a gift to my parents for my wedding (yes, a 30 year old pot). I remember our silly holiday pre-requisites, like wearing the same-colored shirts and opening all cabinets and drawers to let all the blessings (and the pollution) in.

I will also miss one of my best friend’s wedding this time – it breaks my heart but I can’t keep going home every time there’s a wedding! (might as well just send the couple a $2,000 check instead of paying for my ticket).

The cold weather reminds me of how much I miss my first home, Manila. Someday I will be back. Because I always keep coming back to Manila (and that song is now in my head). But in the meantime, the cold, cold New York is home.

Christmas in 2005. Color Theme: Orange

Bryant Park Lunch

Here's the view of my nice little getaway lunch at Bryant Park - just pick up your food from a deli, sit at a random chair and enjoy. There's live piano music in the background too, for free. Wishing summer never ends.


Behind this view is the New York Public Library


There's the pianist (with his yellow piano) and some random New Yorkers

I Saw The King!

On my way to work yesterday, I chanced upon this Burger King shoot right in front of my office building. (That's a fake bus stop by the way.)

Your Lunch Hour (should) Revolve Around Me, Because The World Does

Imagine this situation.

A guy from way back calls a girl and tells her he'll be in town. He asks her if they can have lunch on a work day - and if she can treat him out. Fine. (Only because she makes a bajillion times more money than him, so fine.) The girl was early and got a table at this restaurant. He arrived and they said hi (after not seeing each other for almost 4 years). As soon as they sat down, the guy starts taking out his video camera and started showing the girl 20+ videos of himself:

- making speeches in front of a crowd
- shaking hands with the masses
- in his travels
- hugging little kids
- making more speeches in front of a crowd
- more shaking hands
- more blahs

.. and other really boring stuff that apparently appears very interesting to him.

And then when he noticed the girl was bored with these videos, he starts talking about himself more. I did this. I am a head of this. I did a project here. I am dating this girl. I am the youngest this and that. I am a teacher, a Ph.D student, a media personality, a hearthrob, a politician. I am the most f*cking awesome guy in this f*cking planet.

For one hour.

Yes, one hour it was all about him. It's not like the girl had a 10-hour lunch break! She thought this is a total waste of time. He just had to take the whole time to talk about his sheer awesomeness. Maybe because he didn't hear an ooh or an aaah from the girl, that's why he had to keep on going. She wasn't impressed, if at all, she was dying of boredom.


The girl's facial expression was like this

And then she cut him off and asked, "After talking about yourself for one hour, aren't you even going to ask how I am doing?". He was defensive and said that the girl didn't want to share what's up with her. Didn't want?? Or didn't have a chance?

Perhaps out of obligation, he asked her "So how did you get your job?". And she answered. He didn't have further questions. Nothing about how's life in New York? How's your marriage? How's your family? When did you last travel? Where's your next destination? Are you having kids soon?

He didn't want to hear that she was doing so much better now that she did before with him. He didn't want to know that she lives in a fabulous Manhattan apartment (when he still lives at home with his family), she has a fabulous job (something he never thought she would achieve because women can only do so much and be this much) and a fabulous husband (when he can only date women 8 years his junior - they may be pretty, but they are naive and stupid). He didn't want to hear about the many places she's been. He didn't want to admit that she's become more successful, hotter, richer, sexier than ever! (haha, ok maybe not all of that)

This guy hasn't changed. He still lives in this fantasy world that revolves around him. He's still a self-absorbed, arrogant prick. He tells her she hasn't changed, but he won't admit that he hasn't.

How I wish this is fiction, but it's not. This was my latest experience with my ex. He told me he's glad that we're friends again... but the last I checked, friends are supposed to care about each other. Not just about one's self. I mean, bless his soul but my wish is that someday, he'll meet someone who can put him in his place.

Some things never change. I told David about this when I got home, and it gave us a good laugh.

2008 Beijing Olympics

Today kicks off the 2008 Beijing Olympics. China has done a great job in its very lavish opening ceremony in Beijing. What a historic moment. Happy 8-8-08 everyone! May today bring you great luck!








Photo credits: NY Times

One Thing About Traveling

...that I hate. It's missed connections due to flight delays.
I am at Chicago O'Hare right now waiting inside the aircraft as mechanics figure out some technical problem. David and I have been traveling for 16 hours from NYC and we've only gone as far as Chicago! 3 more flights to go before we reach Montana... yes, a less than ideal itinerary, but in concept, it's the best we have right now. I hate american airlines! That's why I prefer international travel, or nonstop anything.
This is horsesh*t.

Sunk Cost

When I was almost 2, to get me off the baby bottle, all my mom had to tell me was "You are not drinking from your bottle anymore... beginning tomorrow." And I stopped. Some kids would throw a tantrum and need more pushing than that -- like hiding the bottles, or mixing hot pepper with the milk in the bottle. All I needed was for her to tell me that I'm not getting it anymore. I didn't argue, and so I let go of the bottle and switched to kiddie cups.

That memory made me realize something about myself -- that I can easily let go. It doesn't matter if I've had my bottle for almost 2 years, all I needed was some self-convincing and I can move on to other things. I understood what "sunk costs" meant at a very young age, and it carries on to this day.

The author at almost 1

Travel Bug

A lot of people pay good money for material things – purses, clothes, cars, sofas, etc. That’s perfectly okay, it’s their guilty pleasure! So what, right? My guilty pleasure is travel. Yes, I love to travel -- so sue me.

Thanks to my parents, I got bitten by the travel bug back when I was very young. This explains how I’ve been to 107 cities and 24 countries at age 27 (peaking during my early 20s). Some of them I’ve been multiple times. I just can’t stay put in one place, I need to get away every so often. My hobby is looking at Google Maps and checking off places I’ve never been to yet, and looking at flights/hotels to see if it’s within budget. As soon as I arrive from a trip, I immediately plan the next one. It’s terrible, I know. It’s not even good for the environment (carbon footprint check).

So far this year, I’ve been to Manila (twice), St. Maarten, Anguilla, Maui and Tokyo. For the rest of the year through January, there’s Montana, San Francisco (twice), Dayton, Manila (again!), Las Vegas and possibly Prague. Thank goodness my husband is with me on this expensive passion. I’ve been lucky enough to have jobs that allow me to indulge in these travels. However, if I calculate the amount of vacation days I accumulate, I’d still say it’s never enough, but I make do with it. Which means David and I need to make our trips shorter, and take more Ambien to get over jetlag faster (think arriving at 1:00am from a 30-hour flight, and back at work at 8:30am).

The Sagrada Familia, Barcelona, Spain

Spice market, Marakkech, Morocco

Cape of Good Hope, South Africa

The Ritz Carlton, Maui, Hawaii

Plastic sushi in Asakusa, Tokyo, Japan

Someday I know I will need to slow down, the amount of savings we’d get for not traveling for a year can equate to a down payment for a house, or college tuition fee for a year. This makes me nervous because I know someday our priorities will change -- house, babies and all that – which means traveling would have to take a backseat. But in the meantime, I just let the travel bug bite me hard.

So what’s your guilty pleasure?

Some Things Never Change

I was chatting with my old boss yesterday - the "nice" boss who didn't know anything about running a business --which frustrated our team. 

The last time I saw him was before I left for grad school in New York, well over 3 years ago. We caught up about work, life, love and travels. He told me, "You are still the same Pam, who loves to travel all over the world." 

He may not know anything about running a business, but he definitely knew his people. And that made me smile.

Being An Adult

I just finished watching Baby Borrowers on TV and realized that I may not yet be half the adult that I should be.

Until I have a baby, I don't think my patience will have been tested yet. Right now, it's stressful enough to work at a full-time job, have a social life and manage a small apartment. But what if David and I finally live in a bigger place, have kids, have a social life and have full-time jobs -- and no yayas! Notice social life mentioned twice? :) All I can say is super moms and dads deserve gold medals and a lifetime of love and care from their kids.

Ikea Is Coming to BKLYN

Found this ad at the bus stop. Clever.

Bridezillas Outdoor Advertising

I just had to post this in here.

The Weekend Before

I have nothing much to talk about now. I am just waiting for my morning coffee to brew, as I finish my bottle of Fiji water to get over my hangover from last night's rooftop party at a friend's place.

Credits: DG

It's the weekend before my trip to Maui, Tokyo and Manila. It's quiet here in our apartment as David is still sound asleep. It feels like the calm before the storm. I haven't packed, which worries me. I kinda feel anxious for this trip, I don't know why. I hope it's not another Madrid waiting to happen.

There Are Three New Yorkers

“ There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something. […] Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion. "
-- E.B. White, Here is New York

Which one are you?

Sex and the City Movie

“Year after year, twenty-something women come to New York City in search of the two “L”s: labels and love. Twenty years ago, I was one of them. Having gotten the knack for labels early…I concentrated on love.” Carrie Bradshaw

Aaah, SATC never really disappoints - it never has and it never will. The first thing you see and hear immediately cuts through you. Those lines Carrie said fit so perfectly with the plot of the movie, and every new New Yorker's pursuit

I can't say enough how much I loved the Sex and the City movie. Seeing it with a girlfriend made the most sense of course! It required sitting there absorbing everything estrogen for two and a half hours. Only a girl can understand how one movie can make me laugh, cry, sigh, stun, smile and be blown away all at once.

I know it's cheesy, but SATC has been so much a part of me (and millions of other women), everyone who knows me know that. There is a little bit of each of the 4 characters in me, methinks. Or maybe I just want to say that? ;-)



I loved every minute of it, but there are a few scenes that stood out in my opinion. I assume you've seen it already, so I hope I don't spoil it for you:

1. Mr. Big's "love letter" email to Carrie - It made me teary-eyed.
2. The emotional Carrie in her Vivian Westwood gown hitting Big with her wedding flowers - What Big did was not cool, but the wedding gown looked fabulous.
3. Four ladies in Mexico
4. The heart-stopping confession from Steve to Miranda
5. 4 women packing 20 years of Carrie's life in 3 days
6. "I curse the day you were born!"
7. "I got it. He said it like he was paying for the check"
8. Samantha and sushi
9. Samantha saying "I missed New York!" after a woman ruins her fur coat
10. Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours
11. "I love to color"
12. 50 and fabulous
13. Carrie and Louise exchanging Christmas gifts - I thought that was so sweet
14. Carrie braving the snow in her pajamas (and riding the subway!) from the UWS to Chinatown to spend New Year's with Miranda
15. Botox vs. Getting Married

And many more!

I have to say though this movie has made so much money just by plain product placements. Here's a breakdown of the products* credited in fantasy world of Sex and the City - and they all were not placed subtly in my opinion:

Designers
Manolo Blahnik (consistently and constantly)
Vivienne Westwood (more than any other designer, most notably as Carrie’s wedding dress)
Louis Vuitton (lots and lots and lots)
Chanel (at least five times)
Dior
Ferragamo
Roger Vivier
Diane von Furstenberg (a scene was filmed in her New York City store)
Hermès
Christian Loubutin (one very clear shot of bright red soles)
Prada
Escada
Versace
Gucci (several handbags—including a big white “Gucci heart NY” one—and brown glossy shopping bags)
Vera Wang
Oscar de la Renta
Carolina Herrera
Christian Lacroix
Lanvin
Nike
Adidas
Burberry
Tiffany and Co. (Carrie’s wedding gifts)
Swarovski (constantly sparkled on Carrie’s encrusted cell phone; also shined on a clip in Miranda’s hair, Stanford’s wedding tuxedo, and on Charlotte’s daughter’s cupcake purse)
Hello Kitty (décor of choice in Charlotte’s daughter’s room)

Stores & Services
Henri Bendel
Scoop
Bluefly.com
Duane Reade
Manhattan Mini Storage (boxes and boxes in nearly every scene shot in Carrie’s apartment)
Bag Borrow or Steal (referenced, explained, and punned on repeatedly)
Netflix
U-Haul

Gadgets
Apple (Carrie’s computer)
iPhone (Samantha’s cell phone—not exactly Carrie’s style)
Blackberry (Miranda’s phone)
Bang & Olufsen (Samantha’s shapely phone in her Mailibu pad)
Dell (Miranda and Big’s computers)
Cuisinart (wedding gift for Carrie)
Sprint (Carrie’s service provider—flashed frequently)

Publications
Vogue (the real editorial office and staffers, a photo shoot, and the magazine itself)
New York Post
Page Six (what better place for an engagement announcement?)
Entertainment Weekly
New York magazine
Marie Claire
The Wall Street Journal (Big’s before-bed read)

Sips and Snacks
Starbucks (again and again)
Pellegrino (on a table or two)
Skky Vodka (to drown Carrie’s many sorrows)
VitaminWater (first an ad hanging on a wall, then on every seat under the tents for Fashion Week)
Smart Water (the water of choice—all over the place)
Pret a Manger (bagged lunch in the park for two)
Cup of Noodles (New Year’s Eve feast)

From the Pharmacy
L’Oreal
Garnier Fructis
Nivea
Jergens
Clean & Clear

Places and Ways to Get There
New York Public Library (the wedding locale)
Lumi (the site of Charlotte and Big’s confrontation)
Buddakan
The Four Seasons
Mercedes-Benz (Big’s chauffer-driven car)
Lincoln Town Car (Carrie’s wedding limousine)
Christie’s (the girls attended an Ellen Barkin-inspired jewelry auction here)
American Airlines (on an ad in Samantha’s office)

*Source: Vanity Fair

Way to go Michael Patrick King! You are a genius.

Saying I love you

I have tried to ignore this over the past 3 years that I have been away from home. I was passive and nonchalant. But now I embrace it.

Ever since I left Manila, I say "I love you" more to my family more than I've ever had. And they say it to me as well. It may be because we've all outgrown all our immaturities and learned to take advantage of every moment that we express our love in words. Being farther away makes one more concerned and worried about the well-being of another. That's why, whenever I get the chance, I tell my family I love them. My greatest regret would be not to let them know, after I lose all my chances to say it and express it.

Visa and Layoffs

I went to the Japanese Consulate at lunchtime to apply for my visa for my quickie Tokyo visit in June. After going through all my documents, the guy behind the counter had NO questions whatsoever, which is an unusual experience. "Visa is ready on Friday." Done.

While I was there, I received a text from David (who coincidentally works in the same building). He said that he cannot meet for lunch today as his company announced layoffs within his department from all levels. Luckily, since he is in a rotational program, he's pretty safe. But you never know! If there is one thing employees should be sure of, it’s that nobody is indispensible.

In light of this, we gotta lessen our expensive dinner outs, drinking outs and other Manhattan evening penalties. Drinking parties at home and DVD movie nights are great alternatives and are totally in. You should see our bar at home... it's pretty full, and cheap. A glass of wine at a restaurant is a worth a bottle from our bar :)

So beginning today, you'll see less of us dining out, and more of us drinking in.

I heart my job

I may be looking at my work through rose-colored glasses, but after being there for exactly a month, I have to say I really love what I do. And I love the company I work in. And I love how they "take care" of their employees.

Let me count the ways...
1. Awesome boss
2. Awesome boss of my boss
3. Awesome team
4. Casual and team-oriented environment
5. Good work hours (9:00am-5:15pm)
6. Half-day summer Fridays from May to September
7. Educational trainings
8. Location! (it's on the same street as my apartment!)
9. Growth and learning opportunity
10. "Open-door" policy
11. Lots and lots and lots of free products! (David and I already have a year's supply of haircare stuff)
12. Bi-monthly allowance for any beauty product
13. Free hair coloring!
14. Free hair cuts!
15. Subsidized cafe
16. Subsidized Starbucks
17. 5th Avenue address
18. Free trip to Hawaii
19. Free food almost every week
20. Great pay

And there's more to come... I hope. :)

Let's see if this list grows even longer... I just feel lucky right now. Thank you, You know who You are.

Round up

Here's a round up of things that happened in my life the last few months.

1. I left my old job not because I was unhappy, but because something better came along. I now work at my new job and have joined an industry I never expected I would. I love the boss, the co-workers, the company and the commute!

2. David and I have unconsciously decided that this is the year we should travel like crazy as we take advantage of the dinky life.

3. We've attended 2 weddings in the span of 3 weeks and realize that it's getting tougher for bridezillas to make their weddings "their own". Seriously guys, most couples have done it all!

4. The recession has caused a few of my friends' companies to let them go. But they are still happy and I'm happy that they are!

5. Some of my friends are still in denial about their relationships with their significant others, which annoys me. Just grow up, be an adult and face the music.

6. I still wonder how some people's priorities are just f*cked up.

7. I still wonder how some 30-something men still don't have their sh*t together.

8. My hubby just celebrated his 30th this month, and I am so happy and proud that he's got his sh*t together even before that.

9. I have booked a multi-city flight that would let me spend my upcoming birthday at home, which I am excited about.

10. I learned about a month ago that my best friend's mother passed away, and it pained me so much that I was not there for her when she needed me the most. The flowers that my mom sent on my behalf were not nearly as helpful compared to sharing her tears. (RIP Tita...)

11. David and I discovered the Lincoln Center and spent 2 evenings there in 1 week - we watched Josh Groban and Idina Menzel, and attended his uber-successful size zero ex-girlfriend's art installation exhibit.

12. I smile at the fact that I'm all grown up and feel secure about myself that meeting "the ex" was no big deal. If I was still in high school, I probably would have pulled tantrums. Just kidding. I would just not show up.

13. For a long time now, I am not in touch with my exes - not because David forbids me to, or I want to. It's not me, it's them. (hah!)

14. I say I love you more to my family now more than ever.

15. I am so obsessed with Gossip Girl - so if you haven't joined the bandwagon, stop being a loser and go watch it! It's genius. Look below at how these characters' lives are intertwined. It's the Dawson's Creek of today!



Source: New York Magazine

I have to say though that their interpretation of the "Upper east siders" is very extreme (Seriously? How can a 17 year old get away with martinis and cosmos in this town?), and the distance between Brooklyn (where Dan Humphrey, the supposed "poor" guy who studies at St. Jude's and lives in a fancy loft possibly worth at least $1MM!) and UES is not 10 minutes y'all! It's about an hour by train if you live on 93rd and 5th! Plus, the Plaza Hotel (where the Van Der Woodsens live) is not in UES! It's in Midtown, duh! I walk by it all the time! Sorry, I can go on and on about this -- but I still love 'em, nonetheless.

You know you love me. XOXO. (what a terrible ending, blech!)

Earth Hour

Tonight, at 8:00 PM (your local time), join millions of people around the world in making a statement about the global climate change through Earth Hour. Even Google is taking part of it!

Sex and the City Movie

I seriously cannot wait to see this movie. Check out the trailer here.



Although the trailer is a total spill-all, I still can't wait to see Carrie hit Big with her wedding bouquet. (oops!) Poor David, I would have to drag him to see this. He's already been sweetly putting up with all my "Sex and the City" reruns in our DVR.

New Apartment

Did I mention that David and I moved a few months ago to a new place? And we thought we never had to go through that with our fantastic Pre-war deal.

After going through the craziness of NY apartment hunting through Craigslist, brokers and ads, we ended up finding this lovely apartment that made our hearts beat faster. Yes, it is still located in the East side. We're such East-siders, we don't know anything else.

The place is a real 1 bedroom, brand new kitchen with granite counter top, dishwasher (people from outside of NY don't know how big of a deal this is in Manhattan), big fridge, marble bath and in a white glove doorman building. Most importantly, our rooms have views:


That's the Trump Tower towering.


The Citibank building from afar.


A view of the Upper East Side.

Lastly, we just learned the definition of "package escorts", which is a nice little service. We don't
have a maid, but we do pretend sometimes. We call out "Indaaaay!!!" while leaving the kitchen dirty. Only to wake up the next morning to realize we have to clean up after ourselves. It's a balancing act.

An Unfamiliar Place

Sometimes I think about how amazing it is that people who come from the same exact background end up on the opposite end in life. Back in the Philippines, although we had set standards to make and meet, my peers and I lived in neutral ground. My friends and I came from the same school, hung out with the same crowd and ate at the same places. Everything is familiar and we barely needed to adjust. It was "home" anyway. We had our 'own' cars, we had maids to do our laundry, we get the same quality of education and end up in similar jobs earning about the same salaries. Most importantly, we had our families around to lean on. It is like living in a world that is set by standards that our family and the environment has made for us -- the "Gold" standard, if I may. We shamelessly talked about it. We were young, driven and successful. We aspired to be more.

In my case, that aspiration brought me to a place like New York City. I wasn't alone though. I shared this aspiration with plenty of my closest friends. Some of whom have even bigger dreams than I do. We jumped for joy to be given the opportunity to be here, and we reminisced non-stop on how this was all just a dream we would aspire back home. And then reality hits.

An unfamiliar place like New York City can bring out the best or the worst out of someone. To many, this is the greatest city in the world (I beg to differ though). Here is where dreams turn into aspirations which turn into realistic competition which turns into success or loss. Dreams do not define you in this place -- everyone's a dreamer anyway. The naked truth does. No longer are we in neutral grounds. We are now in a place where we are pushed to make difficult choices that can either help us live up to our standards, compromise them or just give them up. Imagine bringing a "rock star" from the Philippines to mingle with other equally good or far better "rock stars" from different places around the world, put them all in one place and watch them eat each other's guts. At least one of them is bound to be the weakest link.

I observe myself and my friends as we face this challenge. Some lower their standards, some "settle" and, thankfully, some never give up. Some planned ahead. Some do so well. Some don't do well at all. Some underestimate. Some overlooked or pretend to overlook. Some forget about dreams just to survive. And then I wonder, why make this big leap?

When we get together, we try our best to ignore the fact that we long to be back to that familiar space. We talk about going back home, or being back from home, or Greenbelt, or who is moving back and who has moved here too. We get together, but try not to talk about standards. It always gets tricky. You talk about "Gold" standards and at least one of them starts to cringe. We sugarcoat and talk about shallow things and accept that as it is. Sad to say, we hardly talk about dreams anymore. I ask myself -- is it because we're already living the dream and we take that for granted? Have we redefined these standards? Or is it because we don't want to admit we have lost that along the way -- as we traveled and dreamt and wandered in this unfamiliar place.

Clutter

I am packing for a quick weekend trip to the Philippines and as I scan my closet for warm weather clothing, I realize how much clutter I have accumulated over the years after moving here in NY. I arrived here 3 years ago carrying only 2 suitcases, now all my stuff could probably fit 20-30 suitcases!

Nobody can be sentimental in New York as far as I know. When I think about clutter, I equate it to sentimentality. Think about all the random crap people keep "just because". Homeless people in shelters in NY are in luck, imagine all the brand-name clothing and accessories they receive from shameless Upper East Side moms who spend money on designer clothing faster than I can say "Michael Kors".

So today, as painful as it is, I packed one luggage full of "random crap" I know I will just stare at and never use anytime soon. These are mostly clothing that are not fit for NY weather or clothes that are too tight or too loose for my taste. I will bring them to Manila back where it used to belong, my old closet. Right where the sentimental lives.

Love Hate Relationship

I continue my love-hate relationship with my job. Today, I got a free 8GB iPod Nano, because the company did very well last year. Very nice surprise. Everyone in the office got one. I'll skip the relationship details, but today it's LOVE.